I’m going in a Nursing Home

Walking on inclines are a pain.  Charlee was ahead of me, heading for the van.  I could see her hurrying, she didn’t have her coat and it was cold out.  Her gait was choppy, as she was walking downhill. (Seriously downhill – the parking lot was built on a very steep hill making it difficult to drive on much less walk.)  I would have hurried myself, but with my luck I would have tumbled head-over-heels.  I reached my arm out, using the remote to unlock the doors.  {It’s good to have long arms… 🙂 }  At that very moment, Charlee turned her body sharply right, by way of a funky-herky-jerky left-foot-over-right-foot animated side-step. 

I have no idea why it struck me so funny, but it did.  I couldn’t stop laughing… almost couldn’t get in the car.  (Especially since the steep downslope was forcing my door open…) 

The first vision that burst into my head, was that of Toots trying to run into the kitchen for a treat. The dining room and kitchen floor are slate and offer no traction.  Her front legs and back legs could not cooperate with each other as she rounded the corner.  It was Fred Flintstone level scurrying, with one set of legs going one direction and the other… well, I don’t know where they were going.  (If you’ve been around dogs or watched youtube, you’ve no doubt seen what I’m talking about.)  

In the second it took Charlee to do that little funky side-step, I was mentally bombarded with image after image.  There was Toots, racing to get in the side door during last years cold spell… her back legs hit a patch of ice and her butt slid away – her face was priceless.  (This grew less funny in the following hours, as she limped the rest of the day….)  (It’s only funny when no one gets hurt!!)

Or Buddy, our faithful ferret, who races around the living room, bouncing and leaping and pouncing… until he hits the slate kitchen floor.  Then his legs don’t know what to do.  Back legs slide sideways, front legs hold ground – either way scraping nails tell of the struggling effort, and we all get hysterical.

Charlee watched me laugh for about 10 minutes.  Shaking her head at the notion that her twisted skip, set her mother into a hysterical giggling fit.  Go figure.  (Yes, I know… my nursing home is being picked out as I write…)

{Part of it was that nervous relief laughter… you know – when you think there is going to be pain or injury, and thankfully that is not the case.  You laugh a sort of nervous gratitude.  Then again, it could be because when she did the side step I had a momentary reflex.  I thought she was going to fall and reacted internally – as if I could catch her from yards away.  When she was okay, I had to laugh at myself as well.}

Today she came home informing me that she was goofing around with the bus driver.  Zippy, an older man with pure white hair, and a twinkling smile to accent his sense of humor.  The two of them goof on each other often… only this time… Charlee made a funky face, then tripped, disappearing into the blind spot of seat backs.  She bounced right back up, but it was too late… Zippy let out a wide-eyed chuckle.    

(See.  It’s not just me…) 

{Please don’t put me in a nursing home………}

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